June 18th 2012
Two years ago when I joined my current postdoctoral position, I dreamed of working in a large lab with a well-known PI who encouraged his students to publish in well-known journals. I hoped to be exposed to a higher standard of science that low-budget grants could not fathom. I realized that the only way to be a better scientist was to step outside my comfort zone and push myself to try new things. I also hoped to make up for all my short comings as a graduate student. So I decided to switch fields and model systems.
You see, I had worked in a small lab on an independent project with no funding, constantly taught for my stipend and my PhD professor couldn't care less about my thesis project. I worked on an invertebrate system that no one cared for, in today's scientific arena. When it came time to publishing, my professor submitted it to the lowest journal that would take it. When I left, I was working on a second first author paper, but my professor inundated me with teaching rotation students and doing experiments for a grant he wanted to put together. I did all this while, I TA-ed, interviewed for postdoc positions, wrote and defended my thesis and desperately tried to finish my paper. I almost died trying to do it all in 4 months. Two years later, the paper still rests on his desk---unsubmitted. My choice of PhD lab was a terrible one.
So I had hoped that I would fare better as a postdoc. I wanted to learn new things and hopefully even redeem myself on the publication front. I interviewed with such a professor who could give me all those things. Two months away from graduation, he finally extended an offer.... to work with his wife instead. Only today can I reflect back and see that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I sigh because I had no choice, but to take it as my professor had no more money to last me another semester. If I hadn't said yes, I would have to leave as my visa status required me to leave within 60 days from the time I submit my thesis. So I really had no choice but to say yes.
Two years ago, I had so much hope that this time round it would be different. It sure is different. It's much worse. I am now working for a woman who thinks I'm stupid and who despises me.
Two years ago when I joined my current postdoctoral position, I dreamed of working in a large lab with a well-known PI who encouraged his students to publish in well-known journals. I hoped to be exposed to a higher standard of science that low-budget grants could not fathom. I realized that the only way to be a better scientist was to step outside my comfort zone and push myself to try new things. I also hoped to make up for all my short comings as a graduate student. So I decided to switch fields and model systems.
You see, I had worked in a small lab on an independent project with no funding, constantly taught for my stipend and my PhD professor couldn't care less about my thesis project. I worked on an invertebrate system that no one cared for, in today's scientific arena. When it came time to publishing, my professor submitted it to the lowest journal that would take it. When I left, I was working on a second first author paper, but my professor inundated me with teaching rotation students and doing experiments for a grant he wanted to put together. I did all this while, I TA-ed, interviewed for postdoc positions, wrote and defended my thesis and desperately tried to finish my paper. I almost died trying to do it all in 4 months. Two years later, the paper still rests on his desk---unsubmitted. My choice of PhD lab was a terrible one.
So I had hoped that I would fare better as a postdoc. I wanted to learn new things and hopefully even redeem myself on the publication front. I interviewed with such a professor who could give me all those things. Two months away from graduation, he finally extended an offer.... to work with his wife instead. Only today can I reflect back and see that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I sigh because I had no choice, but to take it as my professor had no more money to last me another semester. If I hadn't said yes, I would have to leave as my visa status required me to leave within 60 days from the time I submit my thesis. So I really had no choice but to say yes.
Two years ago, I had so much hope that this time round it would be different. It sure is different. It's much worse. I am now working for a woman who thinks I'm stupid and who despises me.
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